I was at the gym to do my weights session tonight. I was all organised this morning. It wasn't until I left the apartment building that I realised I'd left my shoes behind, which kind of defeated the whole purpose of carrying my backpack to work. I was going to go back for them, but I realised that going back for them after work would be extra exercise.
I'm enjoying this weights program. It seems to be a much better calorie burner than my previous programs. Tonight, I was burning 5 cal/min for the hour session, instead of the normal 3. I think it's the balancing. I'm working more muscles than usual.
I didn't do any of my planned exercise for the weekend. It was too cold. Well, that's what I told myself, but I think the real reason is was a combination of the poor eating choices I've been making lately and my lack of running. My clothes are making it clear to me that I have put on weight, which has been really depressing me, especially after working so hard to lose it in the first place.
I've been incredibly anxious about my eating lately, which I think is a deep down fear that I'll put the whole 40 kg back on. I've also been anxious about not running. Because running has been so much part of losing weight for me, I think I'm mixing it all up in my head.
Anyway, writing down that I'm going running clearly hasn't been enough to get me out there, so I made the decision to go back to basics with my exercise and weight loss regime. In fact, I'm going a step further. I used to write all my food and exercise down every day, but that was all I wrote down. Now I'm going to record a lot more info - what time I eat, how I'm feeling, what I'm planning to eat, my food and exercise goals. I figure the information might help me to deal with the emotional eating I've been doing.
I started today, and I'm feeling really good about it.
The other smart thing I did today was tell my running coach that I'm feeling really anxious about going running tomorrow. I admitted to her that I'd gotten myself dressed and was about to jump on my bike when I pulled the pin last week. I wanted to let her know how I was feeling and tell her that I fully intended to get myself there tomorrow morning. I hoped that telling her what was going on in my head would help me realise that I didn't have to build the run up into something I wasn't going to be able to do. Needless to say, I received heaps of encouragement from Krissi, and I feel much better about tomorrow's session than I did earlier.
Asking for help isn't really my style, so I'm pleased that I was able to overcome my natural inclination to struggle on alone. I think that seeing people share their problems in the forums and via their blogs has made me realise that there's nothing wrong with asking for help. There's so much encouragement out there in the running community.
I just realised that I called Krissi my running coach. I know it's only a handful of sessions, but hey, I have a coach!
Anyway, I have an early start in the morning, so I'm off to bed. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I get to tomorrow's session. It's going to be -2 tomorrow morning, with frost and fog. Not as cold as the weekend, but still cold. I'll be wearing lots of layers.
EDIT: (Sorry Sara, I didn't think.)
After I got home this morning, I added the following comment:
I did it. I got there! I didn't just survive - I enjoyed it. And it was -3 degrees when I left home.
I feel terrific. I love this runner's high. :-)